I hurt you
until you finally hurt me
you see I was right
humans are bad
Me in my 13thfloor studio
First I thought “nicely done” and “that’s it” but half an hour later the painting seemed to me to be too figurative and not abstract enough. I felt that my feelings, which I wanted to express, were still in me and that I was still nervous and not satisfied with the result. Sometimes when I paint I’m somehow in a rush or in a thrill of ecstasy until the painting is done. And here I felt that the painting wasn’t completed. Fortunately the paint was still wet. So what to do? Adding a different color? No the colors were perfect: Black symbolizing death and red symbolizing love. I added a little bit more of these two colors and folded the canvas. As long until I was satisfied with the result. By the way I made a big mess in my flat because I accidentally stepped in the color and spread it through my whole apartment. But it was worth it.
I like this painting very much. Especially the round part in the midst. It is so vivid and organic like a pulsating heart. The transformation of the painting became to me to an awesome symbol of our spiritual journey. Let me put it this way:
Praying transforms a normal heart into a mystic heart.