Out-Sider

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I was forced to change my profile because I put a link in my application to my blog, which already had the new one in. So.

What’s the point? The point is that my old photo was five years old and I was much slimmer. But we are changing. Getting older and hopefully more experienced.

What  a nonsense: I always assumed that you get wiser when you get older – “now you know the things which are important, you know that inside is more important than outside and worse when you are writing about it the whole time in the last years, but you cannot accept that for yourself” – but in some areas you stay the same old fool who you ever have been.

I’ve experienced especially in the last  year that there is a difference between the sense of self and the sense of others. Fortunately. The people around you often already see more of you when you are in contact to them as you suppose. While you are still dealing with your insecurity because you are remembering your “unslim” cheeks and your double chin, they recognize your charisma, your rhetoric and your smile. I can learn from them to accept me as a complete person. Saying that I know the risk getting addicted to that recognition. But what the heck: Life is risky.

Today is not my birthday

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today is not my birthday
but tomorrow
I’m a little bit uncivilizes
concerning birthday habits
and not superstitious
I live a quiet life
and don’t like birthday parties
one year older again
who wants to celebrate that
but what the heck
aging isn’t threatening
as you think
when you are in your late 20s
fearing your 30th birthday
especially for girls
it seems to be the end of the world
but life is not about appearance
but about being
I hardly can remember a time
when
I have been feeling better than now
balanced stable without fear
totally free and wild inside
full of love to life and other people
and overall grateful