I know, how it is to have money, to drive a Mercedes and being boss of a company. Everybody greets you friendly and people make a bow. I know how it is to have no money: the bank puts thumbscrews on you, and you are only a maggot, but without bacon. If you then again come by some money, you are the made man, customer king.

Who is so naive to trust these rabble of bow-makers and hold-the-door-openers, doesn’t have to wonder if his / her heart turns up and down like the weather. He judges himself like the others see him. And here you can find the whole evil what makes you to a puppet of your fellow human being. You are to blame, if you hate yourself, because you still haven’t broken with the mob to whom it’s just about money, beauty and success.

Man I tell you, as long as you run after this you aren’t free but a servant of many. You are an everyman who goes for broke running after the zeitgeist and who misses out, because you can’t reach your own high standards. You are no Goethe, Shakespeare, no Nowitzki or Madonna. And all that is not tragic. You are not you, and that is a tragedy. To look your whole life at others and don’t feel yourself. What a waste. At the end you were not even yourself.

I wish it were Easter…


Let me be open: I don’t like Christmas at all. Ahww, I know, that sounds harsh. And I have the impression that it gets worse – with my feelings not with Christmas – every year. It has less to do with other people who are alienated to the true meaning of Christmas and mistake shopping and free time with the birth of Christ, which is the real reason why we actually are going to celebrate Christmas.

Christmas is my tender point and my Achilles heel. Normally you could say Dresden with its old buildings and different Christmas Markets like the popular Striezelmarkt with its long tradition is one of the best cities to celebrate Christmas. When you drive through the city you can see into a lot of windows which are richly and carefully decorated with Christmas asseccories. The people of Dresden care about Christmas traditions and build a whole safe world of Christmas memories around themselves.

Additional to this traditional overdose I guess another reason because I’m so depressed during the Christmas time may be the early darkness and the short days with its early darkness because of the winter. But surprise, surprise, I can prophesy for the 2nd January my mood will go up to nearly 100 % and the emotional spell of Christmas over me will be vanishing like a bad dream in the early morning.

If I liked and drank alcohol I certainly would drink alcohol until I become benumbed not to feel my emotions these days. A few years ago I fled to Turkey but nowadays I have neither time nor means to travel. In the lobby of the hotel I was welcomed by a richly decorated Christmas tree. But that wasn’t so bad because the environment was different. Another way to push away my Christmas sadness is to work. I keep myself busy to push aside the past of my safe childhood. A good remedy to deal with my Christmas mood you can see right here: I guess one of the best means is to get familiar with your feelings and to untangle them with words. To accept them and to accept yourself with patience. O.K. that’s the way it is. That’s the way I am. That’s my emotional structure. I overcame it the last years and I will certainly make it this year and in the hopefully following years in the future.

And Christmas is not about my emotional constitution, not about special Christmas feelings which we have cultivated in our western Christmas tradition. As we Mary and Joseph lived in their own daily reality. They were oppressed by the hard life then, dictated by the Roman empire and they were poor. Of course as a man I can’t understand how it is to be pregnant but I assume to travel by feet or on a donkey and to be pregnant certainly wasn’t easy and full of sorrows according to the future. But what at last counted weren’t the hard circumstances but the one who carried Mary in her womb. Looking at him gives me peace. Listening to Mary’s prayer I can find my peace too besides my broken emotional psychic structure according to Christmas.

“My soul magnifies the Lord.
47     My spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior,
48     for he has looked at the humble state of his servant.
For behold, from now on, all generations will call me blessed.
49     For he who is mighty has done great things for me.
    Holy is his name.
50     His mercy is for generations of generations on those who fear him.
51 He has shown strength with his arm.
    He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
52 He has put down princes from their thrones.
    And has exalted the lowly.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things.
    He has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has given help to Israel, his servant, that he might remember mercy,
55     As he spoke to our fathers,
    to Abraham and his offspring forever.” (Luke 1:46-55)

Christmas Eve


Christmas Eve: Christ is born into the darkness of this world. Mary and Joseph, a handful of shepherds, the sages from the Orient, maybe no one has understood the dimension of the birth of this little child. All human, rational wisdom must surrender here at the manger. Even more the mind or the brain is not at all capable of understanding what is happening here and who lies in the manger. This is as if you wanted to listen with your eyes and to see with your ears. That won’t work. Faith in Christ is born in the heart. Our hearts understand what our minds cannot believe. Where our minds only see a helpless newborn and filth and poverty, our hearts see the essential.

Only who can (still) believe like a child can recognize God in the child in the manger. Don’t let yourselves be fooled by shine and glamor, by luxury and prosperity, by a flawless, clean skin and a pretty face. These are outward appearances, which get many Likes in a superficial Facebook and Instagram world, but which distract from the essential. The essential is invisible to the eyes. And this essential is exemplified by Christ, because God has taken shape in him.

Love, peace, goodness, justice are given a new meaning by Jesus and outshine everything what we have known so far. Love means for us “birds of a feather flock together”, for him “love your enemies”. Peace means for us armistice, for him “my peace I give you”. Goodness means for us “I do something for you, you do something for me” for him “if someone asks you for your shirt, give him also your coat”. Justice means to us “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”, for him “I forgive you, don’t sin no more in the future”.

What had begun as the birth of a little boy in a dark backyard of history became after Jesus’ life, death and resurrection to a world religion. As an Olympic torch is passed from nation to nation, the fire of faith sets the hearts of many people around the world on fire. As the Universe is expanding continuously after the Big Bang, the message of God who wants himself to reconcile with the humans is spreading continuously.

But the physicists assume that after the Big Bang the Universe contracts itself again. What the scientists predict for the universe in a few billion years is already true today for the Christian faith. It is oppressive to see how the Christian faith becomes less important. I wish I had a patent, but I did not.

Perhaps the structures of the Church first must fall apart until the humans can ask new for God again. Perhaps we first must fail and break in personal crises until we are capable again to see the essential. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

I remember the Sermon of the Mount. How careless Jesus simply trusted in God our Father. Whatever happens, we are in God’s hand.

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Mt 6:31-34)

Jesus 2016


Heaven comes to earth, but they do not recognize Him.

This is true for 2016 as well as for the year 0. Humankind has reset its clocks – back to the beginning – and start their calendars where they suppose the birth of the Son of Man. How exactly they have met the time of his birth does not matter. Time stands still anyway as he is born. The universe holds its breath. In the face of the One who is for some everything. One moment of peace. At least in a small place.

To recognize him is unfortunately the least given – then as now. Is that because we are not using the right words to bring heaven to the humans? Perhaps too. But it seems to me as if we make too many words. That we should be silence to recognize him. That our hearts open like heaven.

9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:9-14)

End Time


So as if one turns up his coat collar against the cold wind, lights a candle with the last match. So we tighten our belts, concentrated on the essentials. Waiting and awaiting. In a time, which greedily hurtles towards the abyss. The end of time. End time. Dawned by the man from Nazareth.

The creation is pregnant in labor pains, waiting for redemption. As we wait for Christmas, we long for the day of his comeback. The Earth groans tired in its axis. The new morality is: “tolerance” and “everything is permitted”. Because they have forgotten God, they go in circles and are wild desperate to squeeze every last drop of life out of their finiteness.

And we – close ranks. No, we cannot close our hearts, urgent the day of his return. Watch, pray, fast, heal and love, because his outlines are already visible from afar. The end of time. Fulfillment of our lives.