Old Love


an hour ago this thought came into my mind
“you don’t believe in the right way in God anymore”
because I can remember times
in which God seemed to be more present in my life than these days
I was more conscious of God than nowadays
I assume it has something to do with my time
in the last months I have attended a school for further education
where my mind had to be focused on the daily learning
next week I will start an internship for 2 month
so currently my mind is completely busy with normal life

during my studies of theology it was different
all my daily work was about God and bible studies
it was easy to feel “Christian” and “holy” then
but now my relationship with God seemed to  have become
something like a long term relationship of an old couple
where the burning fire of ecstasy of it’s first love has reduced
to a cozy fire in the fireside
still steady burning but without the passion of the first days
but everything has its time and love has different shapes

when I sit in the tram I like to watch people and especially old couples
you can learn a lot from it
once I offered my seat to an old weak man
but he preferred to stand closely besides his sitting woman
because he was so committed to her
another time I saw an old couple
the man sitting adverse to his wife
it was cold outside and he laid his hands on her thighs
“still warm”
he said with a smile
his wife was embarrassed like a teenager
because of his tender approach and blushed

it was so touching and cute to see the little fire of love burning in them
they have lived their whole lives together in good and bad times
maybe they haven’t told each other for a long time “I love you”
but that was not necessary
because they weren’t two souls but one
united by love

our relationship to God is similar
if you are a Christian for a long time you haven’t always to confirm your relationship
because you are insecure
but your oneness with God has become natural
the love between God and you is expressing itself in loving other people

Johnny (Free Ebook)


Dieser Roman stützt sich auf das Tagebuch eines obdachlosen Mystikers, das mich auf ungewöhnliche Weise erreicht hat. Ich habe Johnny zum erstenmal in einer Anlaufstelle für Obdachlose in Dresden kennengelernt. Er hat mich schon damals tief beeindruckt. – Das was ich schreibe ist eigentlich eine Auftragsarbeit. Da ich selbst mittellos geworden bin und mir mein Auftraggeber kein Geld zahlen kann, handle ich gegen seinen ausdrücklichen Wunsch, diesen Roman kostenlos zu veröffentlichen – für eine Spende an die Dresdener Nachtcafes, die sich im Winter um Obdachlose kümmern. Nicht ohne schlechtes Gewissen muss ich dieses Buch verkaufen. Ich sehe mich zu diesem Schritt gezwungen, da dieses Projekt zeitaufwendiger ist, als er vermutet. Geld ist für ihn – anders als für die meisten von uns – keine reale Größe, sondern nur unnötiges Accessoire, wie die Sahne auf dem Eis oder die Butter auf dem Brot. Diese innere Haltung hat er sich in jahrelanger Obdachlosigkeit angeeignet. Zwangsläufig, durch Einsamkeit, Hunger und Entbehrungen, die seinem Leben aufgezwungen wurden, die wir, die sich in dieser Gesellschaft etabliert haben, kaum nachvollziehen können.

Love is strong as Death (free epub)


In the times of facebook, instagram, whatsapp and snapchat it’s hard to find true love. What is really meant seriously or is only a game of flirting with symbols of hearts and blown kisses to feel superficially in love? Often you don’t want to meet in reality, because you are afraid of a real relationship.

Two who were badly in love were the lovers of the book “Song of Songs” presumably written in the 6th century BC. “The Song offers no clue to its author or to the date, place, or circumstances of its composition.” (Wikipedia) but love is timeless and the name of the lovers doesn’t matter. Vice versa therefore it could be “you and me” or every man and woman nowadays. It’s very astonishing that you find the book in the biblical canon. The Christian Church only took it in its Canon, because they understand the verses as symbols for the relationship between Christ and his church. But modern theology doubts that seriously. Me too.

Let yourself be inspired and enriched by this deep words either you are living in a longtime relationship or you are currently in love with somebody!

The Healer


get ready
let your walls be broken
make your heart wide like the horizon
and deep like the ocean
today is the day to surrender
for the one who is

love peace and glory

the thorn-crowned king
is born among us
gentle and careful
his healing hands
he knows
and alleviates every pain
gentle his love
and tender his heart
to reconcile and to free
to heal what is broken
to wipe off every tear
today is the day to come home