Old Love


an hour ago this thought came into my mind
“you don’t believe in the right way in God anymore”
because I can remember times
in which God seemed to be more present in my life than these days
I was more conscious of God than nowadays
I assume it has something to do with my time
in the last months I have attended a school for further education
where my mind had to be focused on the daily learning
next week I will start an internship for 2 month
so currently my mind is completely busy with normal life

during my studies of theology it was different
all my daily work was about God and bible studies
it was easy to feel “Christian” and “holy” then
but now my relationship with God seemed to  have become
something like a long term relationship of an old couple
where the burning fire of ecstasy of it’s first love has reduced
to a cozy fire in the fireside
still steady burning but without the passion of the first days
but everything has its time and love has different shapes

when I sit in the tram I like to watch people and especially old couples
you can learn a lot from it
once I offered my seat to an old weak man
but he preferred to stand closely besides his sitting woman
because he was so committed to her
another time I saw an old couple
the man sitting adverse to his wife
it was cold outside and he laid his hands on her thighs
“still warm”
he said with a smile
his wife was embarrassed like a teenager
because of his tender approach and blushed

it was so touching and cute to see the little fire of love burning in them
they have lived their whole lives together in good and bad times
maybe they haven’t told each other for a long time “I love you”
but that was not necessary
because they weren’t two souls but one
united by love

our relationship to God is similar
if you are a Christian for a long time you haven’t always to confirm your relationship
because you are insecure
but your oneness with God has become natural
the love between God and you is expressing itself in loving other people

The 3 Pillars of Life


laugh live love

life is too short to waste your time with a bad mood
often we are annoyed about small things
and sorrow about things in the future which will never happen
the past is gone
all what we have is this moment

life is vivid and cannot be understood by our minds
we have to live it not to think it

life is full of hatred greed and competition
therefore learn to love
when you have learned to love yourself
you can love everyone
love is the purpose of our lives