Abyss

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I’m in front of a deep abyss. only a little bit surprised that the thrown stone didn’t trailed off somewhere near the ground but continues falling aimlessly, groundless.
Everything seemed neutral to me – worthless or worthwhile.
Like Tom Hanks in the finale of “Cast Away”: Standing at the crossroad, questioning look and this incredible emptiness. Without attachment. If you are dead or alive, it’s one and the same.
If you are a dustman or a doctor, there’s no difference. if you are a priest or a pauper, only an anchorless questionmark. Without an emotional anchorage, without affection.
Only a bland emptiness is laboring through my emotional apparatus.

Evening Prayer

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and now
in the evening
the day resounds
in my tired body
I lay it back
in your hands
that was the best
I could do

and tomorrow
I don’t know
but you are always
present
yesterday today and tomorrow
are in front of you
like a whiff of your eternity

the silent of this moment
I feel protected by your tender power
humbly I bow down
to your humanity
grateful for your helping heart
in dark times

Longing for God (insp. by Psalm 42)

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Like a human who is dying of thirst, my heart is crying to you, God.
My heart is thirsty for God, the living God. When do I finally meet you face to face? My tears are my daily bread, because my enemies always ask me: Where is your God?
When I realize that, my heart is crying, for I’m longing for my friends at home. Together with them I want to praise you in the service. Here I’m foreign.

My heart, why are you so sad, why do you worry so much?
Trust in God! For I will still thank him, that he is with me and helps me.

My God, my heart is sad, for I must constantly think of you here in the outland. I’m going down here, I‘m drowning in sadness. Nevertheless: You promised me your goodness, and at night I pray to you God, you my life. God you are my rock, why have you forgotten me? Why do you allow, that my enemies make me such sad? They mellow me, when they ask me daily: Where is your God?

My heart, why are you so sad, why do you worry so much? Trust in God! For I will still thank him, that he is with me and helps me.