We have stored over time all our experiences – good and bad, comfortable and painful – unconsciously in our hearts. When we begin to trust again because the time is ripe for it or we find someone we can trust in, this trust is often accompanied by the same feelings, which we had when our trust got lost. We learned a special behavior pattern, which is reactivated automatically.
Forcing yourself to break through this automatism is of less use. But to stay in contact with yourself is the solution. What I mentioned earlier: self-understanding is the beginning of self-acceptance and love. Love and trust go hand in hand. And changing not only your behavior patterns but deep inside is not done overnight. This change needs a lot of time. Another word for time is patience. Patience comes along with self-love and self-acceptance and is the entire opposite to forcing yourself.
I would like to tell you that everything is O.K. and that life is simple. I often have the impression that it is so but mostly than when my life works out. When not, my life is often an emotional roller coaster. I assume that you may have made similar experiences getting attracted by such a title and cover. Join the club! Here I show you how you can learn to live in a way which is bearable and how I make my day.
I don’t like the approach of coaching to optimize yourself and I am a little bit distrustful according to specialists. I prefer the layman style. Meaning at least you are the last authority of your life – nobody else. That means you are responsible for yourself. When you make decisions you have to take the consequences. Let’s grow up and realizing our responsibilities. Let’s stop admiring people thinking “I want to be like him or her.” No! If you become yourself it’s enough.
Although we have the full responsibility for every step on the way, we are not alone. I know by experience it’s hard and sometimes humiliating to ask for help. When your self-worth in the crisis already is low – I know it from my own burnout- your pride “I make it by myself.” is seemingly the only thing what is left over of your dignity. That’s bloody wrong!