I survived darkness
Nobody can walk on water because water has no planks.
If Jesus could walk on water, I don’t know.
Walking on land, leaving your tracks there, that is possible.
But what is, if there suddenly is no solid ground under your feet but only water?
Do I dare to go on then?
Only one step, the next step.
The feet are already bloody but only the next step.
And tomorrow another one.
I experience, the water, so life itself, carries me.
Today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow – and then the day.
We have stored over time all our experiences – good and bad, comfortable and painful – unconsciously in our hearts. When we begin to trust again because the time is ripe for it or we find someone we can trust in, this trust is often accompanied by the same feelings, which we had when our trust got lost. We learned a special behavior pattern, which is reactivated automatically.
Forcing yourself to break through this automatism is of less use. But to stay in contact with yourself is the solution. What I mentioned earlier: self-understanding is the beginning of self-acceptance and love. Love and trust go hand in hand. And changing not only your behavior patterns but deep inside is not done overnight. This change needs a lot of time. Another word for time is patience. Patience comes along with self-love and self-acceptance and is the entire opposite to forcing yourself.